is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
