just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
