At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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