she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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