The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
