Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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