I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
