where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
