So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
