am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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