D3 body, D1 cock
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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