You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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