I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
