I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
