Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
did i just pee glitter
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