Well douche your snatch and let's go!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
