I'm going to jail i love you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
