K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Green mimosas i think yes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
