maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
