I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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