Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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