He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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