I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
