So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
