Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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