White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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