he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
