is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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