when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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