what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
