She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
