Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
