Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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