It's like God shit irony all over that family
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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