Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
