I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize