They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you win again, gameday.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
