I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
