I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
