4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im six kinds of drunk right now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
