i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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