Kiss
Puke
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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