they need to just BURY HIM!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
