Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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