Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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