did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
