He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
