yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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