Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
