i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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